WATERSON VS ESPARZA
The worst fight in human history
Introduction
Exactly 42 million 730 thousand and 440 seconds from the time of writing this, the higher ups at the UFC decided that it would be a good idea to schedule a fight between Carla “The Esparza Monster” Cookie and Michelle Waterson (Also known as Michelle Waterson).
This was a fight that every MMA fan around the world was dreading, fortunately for us however, the world would become disease ridden and a global pandemic would begin. The average person was worried, consumed by fear, but not MMA fans, MMA fans were elated as the highly unanticipated bout was swiftly cancelled, as MMA fans worldwide let out a sigh of relief.
MMA fans were not so fortunate however, as the devils at the UFC would soon rebook this garbage matchup, for whatever heinous reason they had in mind. The UFC would make another big mistake when it came to card order, the card it was scheduled for was rather stacked for the most part, all they had to do was put it between two good fights and a nice little toilet break is formed, this however was not the case. The fight was placed right before 2 washed 60 year old heavyweights were set to go at it, so MMA fans had no choice but to watch one or the other, I was unfortunate enough to have chosen the women's fight.
But enough about the cancer that led us to the fight, lets jump to May 9th, 2020.
The pre fight
While we were waiting for the fight to begin, the UFC we're shoving as much promotion for this fight as possible down our throats, Jon Anik even went as far as to refer to the fight as “A highly anticipated strawweight fight.” much to the displease of viewers around the world.
Michelle Waterson would walk to the Octagon wearing a dumbass headband banging her chest, giving off a level of intensity that sadly did not transition into the octagon, she also walked out to the song “This is how legends are made” once again giving off a false sense of security.
After this Carla Esparza would make her walk, Jon Anik was hyping up her striking as Daniel Cormier was telling the viewers how much he loved her, all the while Carla was walking to the octagon, looking as enthusiastic as a wall.
Bruce Buffer would soon begin his introductions, the time had come.
Round 1
Round 1 starts at an unalarming pace, Carla Esparza immediately takes center and attempts a jab from 3 metres away, but Michelle is having none of it, landing an air jab of her own.
After exactly 1 minute and 13 seconds of feints and strikes to the air, Waterson takes the lead landing the first shot of the fight, a devastating leg kick that barely connects, with such impact that the commentators don't even notice it happened.
It was around this time that the UFC decided it would be a great idea to show tweets DURING the fight, a move that if done correct could've been kinda cool maybe?, but instead of this they show tweets that are outright lies, showing a tweet from twitter user @ MiddleEasy, in which they say that this fight has been "fantastic so far, from a violence perspective", despite the fact that less than 5 shots have been landed in the near 90 seconds we have endure this fight.
The UFC camera men then treat us to a shot of Dan Miragliotta's shiny bald head from behind, the highlight of this round.
Fast forward 3 minutes and we end the round with Carla on top somehow, both women look unenthused and the commentators sound bored, as expected.
In conclusion
Going into this event the last 2 UFC cards had seen women's fights awarded the FOTN bonus, tonight ended streak sadly, and emphatically so. Since this fight we have only seen 2 women's fights awarded FOTN, in the 55 UFC cards we have seen since them. Knowing this we now have sufficient evidence to say that this fight caused the downfall of Women's MMA, a part of MMA that will sadly never be the same.
This is the end of this amazing article that you should recommend to all of your friends, MMA fans or not. I would like to say a huge thank you to @HopmansLiam for making all of this possible, and stay tuned for future articles.
Usmoon Bless
